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We Watched 64 World Cup Games. These Pundits Made It Harder.

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We Watched 64 World Cup Games. These Pundits Made It Harder.

The 2026 World Cup is already fading into a blur of Trump memes, Balogun highlights, and pub trivia about England 6-4 France. But one thing sticks around longer than the trophy hangover: the pundits. And honestly, some of them need to sit the next one out.

Let’s get the good stuff out of the way quick. Emma Hayes was sharp as ever with her tactical breakdowns. Jobi McAnuff made ITV’s B-side games watchable. Wayne Rooney somehow grew into a likable, avuncular presence on the couch, especially after his deadpan takedown of the halftime show at the final. Joe Hart is now a safer pair of hands in the studio than he ever was in goal. Danny Murphy kept dropping these weird, strangely charming Karl Pilkington-style stories about a cat named Bob. That’s all fine.

But nobody clicks a post-tournament column to read nice things. You want the list of people you’d be fine never hearing from again. So here it is.

Gary Neville’s America Problem

We still like Neville on Premier League coverage. The guy makes funny noises every time Cristian Romero commits a crime on the pitch, and his chemistry with Carragher is still solid. But his soft-pedaling on all things USA during this World Cup was hard to watch. It’s clearly connected to the media empire he’s building Stateside, and it made him sound less like English football’s shop steward and more like a PR rep. Disappointing from a guy who usually tells it straight.

The BBC Tried to Make Olivier Giroud Happen. It Didn’t Work.

For the first two weeks, the BBC had Giroud parked in the middle of that Salford sofa, and he never said one interesting thing. Not one. Flat monotone voice, zero observation that hadn’t already been made by someone else. The Beeb’s coverage noticeably improved once they started using him less in the knockout rounds. We thought he’d be good, which made it worse. Honestly, they should have just let him sit there looking chiseled in a nice sweater and never asked him to speak.

Second-language excuse only goes so far. Patrick Vieira and Thierry Henry manage fine. Thomas Hitzlsperger does it in English. So does Ange Postecoglou. Giroud just wasn’t good.

Thomas Tuchel Needs a Mountain and a Vow of Silence

We get that the consensus among other pundits is that Tuchel “spoke well.” But the man absolutely wrecked every bed at Tottenham, and people still treat him like he left some of them unshat. No. He trashed the whole room. A bed-beshatting of that scale requires a period of quiet reflection, ideally in a Tibetan monastery far away from my TV screen while he explains why other managers keep failing. Didn’t even have the decency to drink from an ITV mug. Missed opportunity.

Lee Dixon Is ITV’s Number One Co-Commentator Somehow

Lee Dixon used to be a tactically competent but entirely forgettable pundit. Now he’s ITV’s go-to for the biggest games, and nobody seems to ask how that happened. Worse, he commits the cardinal sin: he doesn’t seem to enjoy any of it. Danny Murphy might suddenly drop new Bob the Cat lore mid-broadcast. Dixon just chunters about drinks breaks. Pairing him with Sam Matterface’s pre-scripted, toe-curling commentary bits made for the most baffling decision of an otherwise strong ITV tournament. At least Ally McCoist brought out a better side of him. The Matterface-Dixon axis was a constant source of teeth-grinding for three weeks straight.

Derek Ferguson Is Having a Great Time. Maybe Too Great.

To his credit, Ferguson actually seems to love his job, which is more than you can say for Dixon. But he never offers his own insight. He just echoes whatever the previous pundit said in slightly more astonished tones. At 3 a.m. after a weather delay, that gets real old real fast.

So that’s the list. We’ll see you in 2030. Hopefully with a fresh batch of voices.

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