Messi’s Hat-Trick at 38 Steals the Show—But One Group Stage Match Was a Total Letdown

The first six days of World Cup group play are in the books, and if you think you’ve seen everything, think again. We sat through roughly 2,110 minutes of soccer—98 percent of all action—to bring you the games that made us jump out of our seats, and the one that made us reach for the remote.

Let’s start with the obvious: Lionel Messi is not human. At 38 years old—he turns 39 next week—Argentina’s captain bagged his first World Cup hat-trick, tying Miroslav Klose’s all-time record of 16 goals in the process. The moment felt both inevitable and surreal, like watching a master painter add a final brushstroke to a masterpiece. That performance alone earns its spot among the best of the group stage.

But the real thriller came earlier, when England and Croatia traded blows in a first half that felt scripted by Hollywood. Two goals were wiped out by razor-thin offside calls in the first seven minutes. Then the Three Lions and Hrvatska traded a pair of absurd strikes before halftime. England added two more in the second half for insurance, but the damage was done: nonstop action, end-to-end, and absolutely brilliant.

The USA’s opening match against an overmatched opponent was nearly flawless in the first half: 72 percent possession, 27 touches in the box, three goals. The second half fizzled, but Gio Reyna’s stoppage-time strike after a gorgeous passing sequence salvaged classic status.

Then there’s the match that defied logic. Netherlands vs. Japan ended 2-2, but both teams’ expected goals sat under 1.0. How? All four goals came in the second half, turning a tactical chess match into a sudden burst of chaos. It was like watching a boxer switch from rope-a-dope to haymakers in the same round.

And let’s not overlook Spain’s frantic, futile assault on Cape Verde’s goal in the dying minutes. Goalkeeper Vozinha, 40 years old, turned back shot after shot while Spain threw bodies forward. It wasn’t pretty. It was deeply, immensely satisfying.

Now for the disappointment of the group stage: France vs. Portugal. This was supposed to be a knockout-round caliber match between two top-10 FIFA-ranked teams. Instead, it was a slog. Both teams underperformed their expected goals, but more importantly, they underperformed the hype. Fans online noted the lack of urgency, and the match ended in a forgettable draw that felt like a rain delay more than a World Cup showdown.

Switzerland’s collapse against Qatar deserves a dishonorable mention too. They had chances to bury the game but let it slip away. Their only goal came from a penalty that probably shouldn’t have been awarded—the player looked offside, and FIFA declined to show the evidence. Qatar’s 94th-minute equalizer turned out to be an own goal. Sad trombone indeed.

Nine of the first 24 matches ended in draws—43 percent. But not all ties are created equal. New Zealand vs. Iran, for instance, had no right to be as thrilling as it was. The All Whites are ranked 85th in the world; 17 of Iran’s players haven’t played domestic soccer since February due to the Persian Gulf conflict. None of that mattered. Youngster Elijah Just scored a brace with assists from veteran Chris Wood, balanced by answering goals from Ramin Rezaeian and Mohammad Mohebi. Drama, guts, and a result nobody expected.

Bottom line: The group stage has delivered more than its share of memes, meltdowns, and magic. Now, if only France and Portugal can live up to the billing next time around.