Bill Simmons has heard some shocking Celtics news in his time. But the way he found out about Boston trading Jaylen Brown to Philadelphia might take the cake. Or the sedation meds. Whatever you want to call it.
On a recent episode of his podcast, Simmons recounted how he learned about the blockbuster deal while coming out of anesthesia after a colonoscopy. His wife was waiting to pick him up and dropped the news: Brown was headed to the Sixers for Paul George, two first-round picks and two second-round picks.
“I just woken up from anesthesia and I’m not as coherent,” Simmons said. “‘I’m like where he’d go?’ And she was like, ‘to Philly for Paul George and two first round picks.’ And I’m like, ‘I think I’m dead. I think I died.’ The anesthesia killed me and now I’m a dead person.”
Simmons said he struggled to process the trade while still foggy from the procedure. He kept asking if there were more picks involved. He asked about the Clippers’ first-rounder. His wife told him their daughter Zoe was upset because she liked Brown. Simmons eventually stumbled out of the hospital, still trying to make sense of it all.
An unforgettable way to hear major NBA news
“When this trade happened at 3:20 pacific time I had a camera up my a** and I had Paul George being rammed up my a**, and it was happening at the same time,” Simmons said. “That’s how I’m gonna remember July 1, 2026.”
The trade itself is one of the biggest of the NBA offseason. Brown, the 2024 NBA Finals MVP, helped lead Boston to multiple deep playoff runs and a championship. Now he’s in Philadelphia forming a new core. The Celtics get Paul George, a proven veteran, plus extra draft capital to reshape their roster.
For Simmons, though, the basketball analysis can wait. The story of how he found out is going to be hard to top. Anesthesia, a colonoscopy, his crying daughter and a stunned podcast host trying to figure out if he was dead or just heavily medicated. That’s July 1, 2026, forever burned into his memory.
The team has not confirmed any additional details beyond the reported package. But Simmons seems pretty sure about one thing: he’s never hearing trade news the same way again.
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